G.O.P.O.T.A

Hello! Do you have half a grand? What if I do?

Take on the role of a thug: snatch a cell phone from the local bartender and take selfies with it like all proper thugs.
Go get some sigs at the local shop and hang out with the homeless.

Walk around the neighborhood, talk to the cops, find notes from your friend Sergei that you drank with yesterday.
You can also piss on the door of the annoying neighbor who constantly plays his annoying music.

And don't forget to punish the utilities that don't want to do their job properly.
And do the rest!
You'll also get a lot of memes and references!